A Special Visit

Good afternoon, I wanted to take time to remember something very special that happened during our visit to Ethiopia.  I'm afraid that if I don't write it down that my memory will fade when it comes time to tell our Bangel.  While in Ethiopia the adoptive parents get the opportunity to meet the biological parents, or parent in our case.  We were given that opportunity, and cautiously agreed to it.  I'm so glad that we did.

If my memory serves me correctly out of 8 to 10 families we were one of two families that were given this great opportunity, when it was all said and done  our parent was the only one that had showed up.  As we made the walk from the hotel to the orphanage me and Mary discussed how we thought the visit would go, neither of us really had a clue.  It could go extremely well or extremely bad, we were hoping to at least hit somewhere in the middle.  It's time like this that I thank God for his grace, the visit turned out to be a sad but wonderful experience, and one that I will never take for granted.

As I remember it was mid morning as we walked through the gates of the orphanage, and just like every morning we were swamped by all the children.  We made our way through the courtyard to the carport and the adjacent office that stood connected to the left.  We entered the office and were introduced to Eliana's mother, Yamiserak.  She was a sweet mannered lady about 5'5" as I recall.  We sat and began to speak through an interpretor.  She wanted us to know her story so that we could one day tell Eliana that she was wanted, that she gave her up for adoption as a last resort.  The sad fact of the matter is that Yamiserak has HIV, and as you well know the sad state of affairs in Africa is that it's a death sentence.  Yamiserak fell in love with a man and they were to marry until she became pregnant at which time her fiancé called off the wedding.  She apparently had nothing, no family to turn to nothing.  She worked cleaning houses and when she had Nigist (our beautiful Eliana) she continued to work to make ends meet.  She explained that she went to work with Eliana tied to her back.  Wow, we have it so easy here in the states.  As she was working she became very, very ill yet continued to work until she ultimately ended up in the hospital with pneumonia.  Obviously being ill doesn't enable one to parent very well, she never explained who took care of Eliana during these times.  It was then that Yamiserak realized that things weren't going to get better, and that her child's only hope for a better life was going to be through adoption.  Yamiserak ultimately wanted her daughter to know that she was loved and wanted but life's circumstances said otherwise.

Emotions ran high as she spoke, she was broken hearted, this was her only child and sad to say she knew that she would never see her again.  Well it was our turn to say something, Mary didn't dare speak for fear she would burst into tears.  As for me I'm the emotional one between the two of us, I had to swallow hard before opening my mouth.  When I finally did speak it was to say nothing more than she (Yamiserak) would always have a place of honor in our house, and that Eliana Nigist would know of her mother, and the her mother truly wanted loved her and wanted her.

The visit lasted about an hour, we all three hugged and walked out to the court yard to take some pictures.  Yamiserak said her goodbyes to Nigist and walked out of the courtyard never to see her again, short of a miracle some day.  That poor woman, I can't imagine how the rest of that day went for her, or how her life has been since that day.  I hope and pray that she finds eternal comfort in the decision that she made the day that gave her daughter up for adoption. 

I think to my self sometimes that when Eliana reaches 18 that it would be nice to taker her to the country of her birth, and to track her mother down so that they could be reunited, but the sad fact of the matter is that short of a miracle that will never happen.  Her mother's life will be taken long before she turns 18 by a hideous virus that is decimating the continent of Africa as I write this blog.  What a tragedy, and the only memory that Nigist will have of her mother is a video that I took of our meeting that day and the picture attached above.  At least I was able to preserve that much for her.

God bless Yamiserak and her gift to us.  I pray for her when I think of her, as you read this I hope you'll remember her and say a prayer for her too.  

God Bless,

Joe Stapp