Two Great Days!!

This weekend was filled with wonderful memories that were being made. Saturday we celebrated Eliana's first birthday (a few days late but that's ok), and then today (Sunday) we had her dedicated at church. What a whirlwind weekend.

I'm so amazed every time I go and get her out of her bed, or come home from work and see her bright shining face as I walk through the door. She is so precious. I call her Bangel, a cross between a baby and an angel. God is good, sooo good.

It's amazing to think that this is her first birthday, a year ago she was born to a loving mother (which we had the honor of meeting) and due to circumstances beyond her control the Lord has placed her in our care. I truly feel for her mother, it's sad to think of a woman a half a world away today who weeps for Nigist. I hope the Lord brings her comfort in a way that only he can on such a special day. I'll save the meeting between us and her mother for another post, it was an experience that I'll never forget.

In addition to her birthday this weekend we also had Eliana's dedication today in church. What an incredible morning. We did it in the middle service at church, and were fortunate that some of our family could be there to share it with us.

Ian our pastor did the dedication, and handed me the microphone to briefly share a few words regarding our adoption experience, boy was it tough. I don't have problems speaking in front of people by any stretch, in fact I do it quite often in the military. The tough part is overcoming the emotion of my mother's death being a part of making the whole adoption possible but also the emotion of my little girl. Those two together is a recipe for water works, and sure enough there was no holding back (I hate that!). I'm by no means afraid to cry, but on my terms, oh well I balled in front of everybody. All in all it was great to share our experience and for everybody to finally be able to see me and Mary's beautiful angel. The icing on the cake was my four boys standing up there with us, six in total, oops!, seven in total. The Lord has truly blessed the Stapp family.

Many Blessings

Joe

The Big Question

The Big Question, why would you adopt a child

over there instead of over here? It's funny that people would ask that question, in some cases with a level of indignation, believe it or not. Even in a sense that it seemed the tone was in some way questioning my patriotism, kind of the same way people view buying an American car as oppose to an import. Somewhat humorous, but then again not so much. Most Americans have no concept of poverty, real no kidding poverty. The kind of poverty that wreaks with the stench of a death sentence. That's why we adopted from Ethiopia, because poverty in Ethiopia can be just that, a death sentence.

Here in the states we confuse poverty with neglect. I have no doubt, in fact it's well documented that there is an issue with hunger here in the states. I won't refute that, but once again there is the infrastructure and the social programs to provide for those that are less fortunate. If one refuses to get aid and it affects their children, that is neglect, not poverty. I can almost guarantee you that the majority of homes that fit this description probably have a TV in them (with cable I might add) an automobile in the driveway, a cell phone, and probably a pack of cigarettes on the coffee table. Once again there may be an exception to the rule but not many. In Ethiopia and other countries nothing, no safety net for the unfortunate.

Poverty, that is why we adopted from Ethiopia, well second of course to God laying it on our heart that we needed to adopt from there. What a blessing it's been.

Anyway, having a daughter is so special. I can't explain it, boys their rough and tumble, and no doubt Eliana Nigist will be as well, but she's a my Ethiopian queen, the mother of my grandchildren (Lord willing). She's gonna be that gentle hand that some day comforts a Godly husband, that soft voice of encouragement, a precious angel. I just can't explain it, it's just right.

Well I'll be writing some more this weekend, about my beautiful angel so stay tuned.

God Bless,

Joe

The Beginning (continued)

The last blog I referenced how we were able to get the money to afford the adoption. I want to be sure to emphasize that, that event for me was a Romans 8:28 promise, and that promise states: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose". I say this because when my mom died I needed to know that there was a purpose in it, a no kidding justification as to why my mom had been taken from me. Not that God owes me a justification mind you. So as a result I clung to that promise in that verse that there was something good that was going to come out of it. I just wondered how God would manifest that answer to my question and to what level would it meet my expectations. I'll get to that answer in a later post, sorry I gotta stay on track.

Keep in mind that every state is gonna be different with regards to state policies and the different organizations that you will have to deal with regarding adoptions. When Mary began this I was off to training for eleven weeks, so I'm not very intimate with allot of the paperwork, I do know that it was significant, but manageable. They wanna know everything about you, where you lived, where you've worked, and criminal background checks from every place you've been. Sometimes a pain but understandable when you hear of the horror stories out there of pedophiles adopting children etc... In addition to paperwork there are home studies, and inspections by the Dept. of Children and Family Services, the Health Dept and, well maybe that was everybody. Believe it was enough!

The process for us took about 28 months, I wasn't very happy about that at all, but we had to remember that this is God's timing not ours. That isn't a very easy statement when you're doing everything that you should, and meeting all of your suspense dates, yet there continue to be hang-ups beyond your control. Let me say this in reference to God's timing, if everything had gone like clock work we would've never gotten Eliana Nigist, she wouldn't have even been born yet. In retrospect I'm glad it took 28 months. The majority of people that we met in Ethiopia that were there for adoptions like us, their process on average was about 12 months.

Oops! I almost forgot, because of our adoption being international there is also paperwork involving immigration and the State Dept., foreign court dates, and the US Embassy! It makes your head spin just thinking about it. But I've gotta say in light of all that it's the best thing that we ever did.

All of the heartache and turmoil of lost paperwork, agencies missing their suspense's, foreign court dates, and more foreign court dates all came to a stop on the 27th of December when we finally made it to the orphanage Hannah's Hope. It was there that they came out and handed Mary the newest addition to our family, Nigist. Nigist, which in Ethiopian means Queen, was so beautiful and quiet with no sign of anxiety. I wish I could say that was the case for all the families. Anyway, the moment was so surreal, it was truly a divine moment, we were together with an angel that had eluded our prayers, talks, and dreams for over two years and here she was. We had literally reached the end of our rainbow.

God Bless,

Joe

The Beginning

The beginning was about seventeen and half years ago when I met the woman I would marry. Mary L. Dill, who would become Mary L. Stapp on 6 February 1993. Prior to us being married we discussed many things that young couples do, where we would call home, what our ambitions were, and children, to include adoption. Oh yes from the very beginning we always knew that we would adopt, but didn't think much about how that might come to fruition, except for the fact that I would make a million dollars one day (only Lord knows how I thought I'd pull that one off) and I guess we thought that we would just write a check. Ha! The ambitions of youth.

Well life happens, and couples get bogged down in the details of real life and all the fairy tales wash away leaving the sediment of reality. Adoption had taken a back seat to four handsome boys, a mortgage and car payments, and the aspirations of climbing the ladder to a better life for the family. But God had remembered our ambitions for adoption, and every once in a while we remembered as well, however fleeting it might have been. If it was gonna happen it was gonna have to be a "God Thing", because Lord knows I couldn't afford it.

In the summer of 2007 I was confronted with the cold reality of mortality, involving my biggest fan, my mother. Loretta Ann Stapp died in the late morning hours on September 20th as her son and close family members looked on. The worst day of my life. Shortly after my mom's death (10 days) I took off to 11 weeks of intense military training to bury my grief, and Mary my beloved wife helped me cope in a way that only a wife could.

In the midst of my devastating loss the topic of adoption came to the forefront again, but how? Mom's life insurance was spent taking care of expenses and getting her and my father's affairs in
order. Mary in her wisdom though pressed forward with the preliminaries of adoption, "God will provide".

Military training would come to an end in Dec, and I would bring my father back to his home to St Marys GA from Colorado. We put their house up for sale and in February of 2008 it sold, just as the housing market was beginning to collapse. My dad blessed us with the proceeds from the house, WOW! What a blessing, a tremendous gift, and there it was the money to provide us with the means to adopt. God is so faithful.

So there it is the beginning to our story of adoption. Stay tuned for more to follow.

Joe Stapp